First, I would just like to start off by saying that I was right...I was right all along. While TLC fans surround their flat screen monitors watching this "incredible" American family, all I could think was, "That man hates his life." In which case I am referring to Jon. Now everyone can stop living in denial and see the truth behind Jon and Kate Plus Eight...or I guess nine if you include his mistress.
Honestly, I feel bad for them, and I'm sure they love their kids and all (or at least TLC does), but in Jon's defence, it must be hard living with a woman who has an insatiable thirst for network TV stardom and hair that resembles a hostile male peacock's feathers. What is with that spray of short hair at the back? It also kind of reminds me of those dinosaurs with frilly necks who shoot deadly tar spit from their mouths....but instead she shoots out babies.
Although all this controversy is unfortunate for the children, who are probably too distracted by the mountain of toys they receive on a daily basis to care anyways, I think a divorce would have really positive outcomes. Kate will use her mediocre stardom to star and produce in her own mom-style advice show. It will be her and a posse of helmet hair moms talking about the trials and tribulations of motherhood while her children wander around aimlessly in the background dressed in uniforms and barricaded by an invisible electric fence and bengal tigers. Jon on the other hand will start up his own educational porn business and become a professional dolphin rider.
This will be the most exciting divorce ever!!!!
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