I know it's been an inexcusable amount time since the last entry, so that's why I thought I'd start again with something to "tit"ilate the visual palette (har har har...).I would like to introduce everyone to possibly one of the most beautiful creatures of the world. I don't know her real name, but I think it's probably something along the lines of Debra or Janice...or maybe even a Mary, doesn't that sound nice?
I mean, seriously, how fortunate is this woman to have long, cripsy platinum blonde hair embracing a face that can only be reminiscent of a classic 1940's movie star or Worf from the Klingon clan. Debra/Janice/Mary leaves so much to the imagination, it's hard not to wonder what lies beneath those glassy, black rimmed eyes. And those lips! I bet it's just like kissing a little chimp from the zoo and has the texture of rubbing up with a piece of smooth, rubbery bologna.
As if her facial beauty is not captivating enough, she also has been blessed with God given curves. As if she would be lucky enough to have breasts so voluptuous they look like pleather stretched over bowling balls! I don't usually get jealous, but it's a little hard not to, am I right ladies? I bet that each one of those sacks contains it own heart beat, and clenched in the middle is where she holds her secrets. Something tells me someone lactates rainbows...not that I'm hinting or anything :).
In any case, when all is said and done about her physique, does she still have a personality. You bet! You can see this sweet charitable woman directing the Children's Amputee choir and breast-feeding the elderly. Not only that but she still has the time to donate locks of her hair to men with balding pubic regions AND run a soup kitchen for STI victims. Can you say 'Jesus in disguise' much? I dare say, it's hard to tell the difference at this point!
Ladies, fine gentlemen, let's take a look back at history and remember the women we THOUGHT were changing the world. Forget them. They are nothing but a bunch of no good floozies. Bra burning? Despicable. We all know what gravity does...it pulls things down. In this circumstance, those things are called "pride", which means the more pride you have, the more lift you need so it doesn't drag you down.
Let us give thanks to women like this...without them, who knows where we'd be.
