Drop Dead Fack!

It's hard enough to see perfectly well crafted movies being remade into something either shittier, or at times, interesting ways, but here's a remake I'm not really sure how to swallow. Drop Dead Fred is rumoured to be in the process of a remake! What!? Why!?

For those of you who aren't familiar with this film, it stars Phoebe Cates and a hyper-active Rik Mayall. Basically, it's about a woman who's marriage suddenly turns into a steaming pile of poop and she has to move in with her uptight cougar mother. As a result of these unfortunate events, the invisible friend of her childhood past is ressurected to help her deal with her life and leave a trail of dog shit in his wake.

The film is either known by some, or has never existed. This is partially due to poor marketting and an audience who didn't appreciate boog flicking and looking up women's skirts. Needless to say, I loved this movie, even though the film left me terrified of suddenly having a crazed invisible friend attacking me in my sleep. If I remember correctly my invisible friend had a dolphin coming out of his chest and the squealing from that thing was unbearable.

Anyways, the remake supposedly had Russel Brand as the invisible friend Fred but no word on Phoebe Cates character. The fate of the script has been left in the hands of Land Of the Lost's Dennis McNicholas, which Ain't It Cool News wrote on their site that it will have a "Beetlejuice vibe" to it.

The whole idea of my favourite childhood movie being absolutely massacred by Hollywood doesn't please me at all, nor does the idea of my dolphin-chested invisible friend being realized in my adulthood.

Matthew Perry 17 again? No thanks. Zac Efron? 17 4eva.

If you haven't had the chance to see the biggest blockbuster of the year - don't. Actually no, wait, do, because if you ask me, 17 Again has the potential of being one of the most controversial films of the year. Controversial? You say... Zac Efron?! You say...let me explain. Obviously, I bought my tickets early to beat the teeny bopper rush which meant that someone young would undoubtedly be sitting next to me (teeny boppers are sooo predictable). That someone must have been around 4 years old - MAX. Strange, but it fits well with weirdness of the film. Anyways, the lights go down and the movie starts rolling and all the little girls start squealing, including myself whose squeal could have been mistaken for the four year olds. Then BAM! Efron's glistening sweaty body emerges at one point sneaking in a nod to High School Musical during a dance sequence then BAM! Teen pregnancy? Ohmigod that's not funny. BAM! Efron's sweaty bodice. I guess teen pregnancy isn't that bad. BAM! Description of Afghan women being dragged through the streets? Nevermind! Zac Efron looks sooo good in plaid. But let's not forget the gay stereotypes...and so on...and so on.

It was so confusing. Why one moment am I offended, but then quickly detoured to Zac's stunning chest? How can I mentally fight that? Offensive. Glistening body. Uncalled for. Here's some Efron grin to forget all that. It's like being put in that eye lid opener in A Clockwork Orange, but very much obligingly and then thinking...dammit! Dammit he did it again! Seriously though, why was that little girl laughing at the Afghan women being dragged in the street? That was weird. Like, wrong weird.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is this film took a lot of weird turns that more often than not were uncalled for and the worst part is...there was a response almost every single time. Parents? Guardians? Are we telling children if they don't eat their vegetables that they're going to be dragged through the streets and stones? Wouldn't hurt to try I guess....especially if your kids think it's funny anyways. Listen, I don't want to bust anybodies hopes and dreams for this movie. Come on, you knew it was going to be terrible. If it's any cancellation, Zac Efron's body was worth the $8.50 of sexiness (usually it's $12 but I went for the senior price...and I'm not ashamed).